It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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