Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
