Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i love accidental penises.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
