you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
