Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize