I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
