i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize