the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
