then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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