he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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