whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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