well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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