I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
