I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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