I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
