planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
