I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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