I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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