mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so let's talk penis.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
