I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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