did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize