After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize