this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
