So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
