First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
