I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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