She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
