I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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