Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize