I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
