everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
