Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
