you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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