awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
