I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
