my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My life is pants optional.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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