and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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