dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
