how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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