but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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