watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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