people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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