Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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