I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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