YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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