I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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