I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize