My room smells like vodka and shame
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
