I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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