I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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