he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
