Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
