2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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