Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
