I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He passed out mid-signature
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I could fuck to npr.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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