his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize