the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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