The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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