but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
two words: eviction party
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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