Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
