I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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