hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
