someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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